Always Tip Your Driver

Trip length: 18 minutes. Trip distance: 4.4 miles. Fare: $16.78  Year: 2018. Song of the trip:  “Rain Street” by The Pogues So I told you that last story to tell you this one. Normally on Saint Paddy's Day, I turn on my phone to a playlist of Irish music that I like (The Pogues, Black-47, The Chieftains, Flogging Molly, Dropkick Murphys, etc.) and I'm stuck ferrying people who are so blisteringly drunk they have trouble finding the door handle to get out of the car. I figured I'd get at least one good story to tell you, but this wasn't the one I was expecting. There were  loads of drunks, but they weren't the most entertaining fare I had on St. Drunkard's Day. One of the most common things that happens when people get in the car is they want to hear a story. "Tell me about the craziest thing that's ever happened in here." "Have you ever been threatened?" "Has someone thrown up in your car?" "Has anyone tried to hav...

Trip length: 13 minutes. Trip distance: 3.8 miles. Fare: $11.36  Year: 2015. Song of the trip: “Roxanne” by The Police It's a sleepy Friday night but a fare earlier in the night had brought me up to Stanford University and I haven't been able to get away from the area since. The Stanford kids are generally decent enough riders, but sometimes things can get a little dicey. What I'm trying to do right now, though, is figure out what the hell is going on . About an hour ago, I brought the car to a stop in front of one of the dorms, and the phone said I was waiting for someone named Kyle. But a Kyle was not forthcoming. Instead, a brunette girl sauntered out, carrying a bag with her. Lovely, no denying, dressed in a rather slinky black dress, the classic little black dress that every girl keeps in her closet to make an impression, or so I'm told. No one's ever used a little black dress on me before. I can't tell if that means I'm too easy ...

Trip length: 54 minutes. Trip distance: 39.8 miles. Fare: $64.52. Year: 2016. Song of the trip: “Public Transportation” by Satchel Grande I'd stopped up at Buster's Cheesesteaks on Broadway (best cheesesteaks in San Francisco by my reckoning) for a dinner break and was ready to get back to driving, so as soon as I got into my car and turned back online, there was already a fare popping up, about twelve blocks away. The couple is waiting for me at Kearney & Clay. It's good that they're ready when I arrive, because it's a dangerous place to try and stop. Both streets tend to be full of traffic, they're both one-way, they're both perpetually under construction and, most importantly, nobody wants to wait for you to pick up or drop off passengers. There's no shoulder or bike lane to pull into for just a few seconds to let someone get in or out, so there's inevitably people honking if you're stopped for more than fifteen seconds, any t...

Trip length (pool): 24 minutes / 18 minutes. Trip distance (pool): 12.4 miles / 8.8 miles. Fare (pool): $16.73 / $13.55 Song of the trip: “Butterfly On A Wheel” by The Mission One of the questions I'm most asked as a driver is what's a good rule of thumb on when to choose a Pool fare (where you have the possibility of sharing the car with other random passengers, but pay less) versus when to choose an X fare (where you pay a little more, but have the entire car to yourself).  Things in Pool's favor You pay a lower rate, which is good for long trips that might sting the wallet! You get to meet interesting people! Things in X's favor You don't have to worry about detours that can add up in delaying your arrival time! You can change your destination en route or even add additional stops! You don't have to meet interesting people! I pull up to a trailer park in Sunnyvale on a Friday night, looking for someone named Connor. I glance at t...